Untitled – 07202010 July 20, 2010

Intent don’t represent the end result
And I only have myself to fault

Update August 26, 2008

Felt good the past couple weeks.  Now everything is turning shitty.   I know I’ll lose him.  I’m too much of a loser.

Whatever July 18, 2008

Felt good a couple days ago.  Had a breakdown the morning before last.  Migraine and all.  Couldn’t handle the stress. When normal people fail, their brains say “Shame on you, you didn’t prepare enough!”, etc.  Mine tells me I deserve to die. Feel irritated today.  Wish I had a valium prescription.  My heart feels quivery. [...]

So I’ll reiterate… July 5, 2008

Since somehow my long, gushing post was deleted, I’ll reiterate something I had typed in it because…well, I want to. Having this sickness….it’s like you don’t ever even have the chance to start off the day on the right foot. You don’t even get feet. Nature has removed your feet and replaced them with wheels, [...]

WHAT THE HELL July 5, 2008

I wrote a very long post and now it’s gone forever. I didn’t delete it, and I saw it published on my goddamned blog 5 minutes ago, but now it’s gone and only the stupid boyfriend post is there. Which doesn’t even make sense without the post before it. GODFUCKINGDAMNIT. Even the internet hates me.

…And then there’s the boyfriend July 5, 2008

He knows I battle depression, but doesn’t know it’s actually bipolar disorder.  Who knows, maybe even BPD… I want to tell him, but I can’t.   I need to tell him, but I can’t. If we end up living together, and I’m so fucked up that I can’t handle a job, it effects him.  When I [...]

Starting a blog…. 8 years after it became fashionable July 4, 2008

So I’ve started a blog.   This is really for myself, but if you find enjoyment in it, read on. I’ll be using this as a means to track my moods, thoughts, and emotions while dealing with mental illness.